What Do You See?

WHAT DO YOU SEE


Null and void I walk around
An empty shield
Hesitant to yield
I try so hard to listen for the sound
Yet all I hear is the cracking of the ground
It’s hard to show emotion
It’s hard to show devotion
I know not how to show it anymore
For through the years, my heart has grown sore
It’s so hard to release my emotions and let you in
For it goes much deeper into a life of sin
It goes much deeper than what is felt at this moment
It goes much deeper, into a heart that has been, for so long dormant
Many days I feel like breaking
I feel the cracks edging
Afraid of the day, that surface, the cracks they will
In fear of that day, I get a chill
Broken thoughts of an innocent child
Broken thoughts of that innocence defiled
Trust of loved ones, was trust in sin
And now it’s so hard to let the downpour of trust rush in
You say you see an angle
Yet I am no angle
If you only knew of the things that I have done
If you only knew what was present in this life that had begun
You say you see a rock
Yet what lay before you is a being in shock
Scared to let go
Scared to let show
This woman, you say you know.
You say you see before you a woman on innocence
A woman with an illuminating presence
Yet a mask covers her face
This woman of a different race
She beats to a different beat
Her body filled with much heat
Before you, stands a woman of disgrace
A woman tainted in the most unsuspecting of place
A woman abused in every way
A woman who struggles to start fresh with each day
You see before you, a woman who is strong
Yet, this is a woman who feels she has done everything wrong
With nothing but pain
With nothing but despair
Do you see a woman who goes by a different name?
Do you see a woman who has discerning care?
This woman that stands before you is trapped in a cage
This woman is a black-panther ready to pounce with much rage
Ready to divulge what is seen
Ready to make what is past, what is present, a vague dream
For every time this panther is set free
It is hard to conceive in the mind what is seen
You see a rock
Yet what lies in-front of you is a round block
Inside is a child that caresses each side
A child is trapped inside.
A child of confusion
A child full of delusion
A child born into a panther
A child who would rather
Have lived a life of peace
A life with no physical grief
A child who was raped of her innocence
A child longing for God’s presence
A child who lived to tell the tale of her murder
A child who you now call a survivor
You see a rock, you see an angle
Yet what you don’t see is the heart that so easily did mangle
Two questions I ask of you
Two answers, I only hope are true
Do you see me for the woman I am?
Do you see me for who I am?

By: Jana Adams