OBSESSION

hello all,

Jana here again. i wanted to write today and was not sure of what i was going to write about until now. you know i have always remained faithful to my husband, even through our hard times. We went through a time where we were dealing with a lot of difficult things in our lives and instead of him talking to me about things, he took things in his own hands and started talking to another woman. I didn't find this out until after we were married and of course he ended things when i told him either he has her as a "friend" or he has me. Through time I could not let this go, because I NEVER expected this kind of behavior out of him. We had known each other for 7 years and were best friends. We got each other through a lot in life and we were so much alike...we still are today (aside from the cheating part). this is why i never expected this out of him.

I could not let things go. I became obsessed with what exactly went on between them. I started asking questions and got pieces...first it was "innocent" information like that he just talked to her and then when i pushed the issue more, I found out more little details. Through the past two years I have become more and more obsessed with this situation and it is so hard for me to let go because each time i bring it up (like every couple months or so) I find out more information...he always says that there is no more information each time, but then I put everything together and then I end up bringing it up again and then I find out something else...

i feel like i am losing my mind here. For each time i find out something new, it hurts me but yet then again i become more obsessed with the situation and want to know more. I am still to this day obsessed with this, and want to know everything and he says still that there is no more information. Am I crazy for being so obsessed, and how does one NOT become, or overcome obsession?

any answers would be appreciated because I feel like I am losing my mind here with this obsession...I mean I want to go so far as to find this other woman and get her side of the story, but can't find her. Anyway, enough venting today. talk later.

JL