AN ANSWER TO PAIN...

AN ANSWER TO…
HOW DO YOUDEAL WITH PAIN

I have told you in my word
That you hold the power of the shield and sword
My child, you are not to deal with pain
Even through the thunderstorms with the cold drawn rain
You are to cast your cares upon me
Open up and allow me to see
Show me what is bottled up inside
Your fears, no longer will you have to hide
My child, of me, you can expect it all
For my child I will not let you fall
I will never fail you
Yet I will always save you
I am the one who has come to sanctify you
I have brought you the truth
I have brought you the light
I am the one that, for you, will put up the fight
How do you deal with pain you ask?
This for me is no task
It is not your job to deal with pain
It is not your job to worry yourself
Just call my name
And I will put your pain up on a shelf
I have called you to love
I have called you to praise
I have promised you, that with me, you will have no pain
So call my name
And everyday I will do the same.

By: Jana Adams….October 22, 2006

What Do You See?

WHAT DO YOU SEE


Null and void I walk around
An empty shield
Hesitant to yield
I try so hard to listen for the sound
Yet all I hear is the cracking of the ground
It’s hard to show emotion
It’s hard to show devotion
I know not how to show it anymore
For through the years, my heart has grown sore
It’s so hard to release my emotions and let you in
For it goes much deeper into a life of sin
It goes much deeper than what is felt at this moment
It goes much deeper, into a heart that has been, for so long dormant
Many days I feel like breaking
I feel the cracks edging
Afraid of the day, that surface, the cracks they will
In fear of that day, I get a chill
Broken thoughts of an innocent child
Broken thoughts of that innocence defiled
Trust of loved ones, was trust in sin
And now it’s so hard to let the downpour of trust rush in
You say you see an angle
Yet I am no angle
If you only knew of the things that I have done
If you only knew what was present in this life that had begun
You say you see a rock
Yet what lay before you is a being in shock
Scared to let go
Scared to let show
This woman, you say you know.
You say you see before you a woman on innocence
A woman with an illuminating presence
Yet a mask covers her face
This woman of a different race
She beats to a different beat
Her body filled with much heat
Before you, stands a woman of disgrace
A woman tainted in the most unsuspecting of place
A woman abused in every way
A woman who struggles to start fresh with each day
You see before you, a woman who is strong
Yet, this is a woman who feels she has done everything wrong
With nothing but pain
With nothing but despair
Do you see a woman who goes by a different name?
Do you see a woman who has discerning care?
This woman that stands before you is trapped in a cage
This woman is a black-panther ready to pounce with much rage
Ready to divulge what is seen
Ready to make what is past, what is present, a vague dream
For every time this panther is set free
It is hard to conceive in the mind what is seen
You see a rock
Yet what lies in-front of you is a round block
Inside is a child that caresses each side
A child is trapped inside.
A child of confusion
A child full of delusion
A child born into a panther
A child who would rather
Have lived a life of peace
A life with no physical grief
A child who was raped of her innocence
A child longing for God’s presence
A child who lived to tell the tale of her murder
A child who you now call a survivor
You see a rock, you see an angle
Yet what you don’t see is the heart that so easily did mangle
Two questions I ask of you
Two answers, I only hope are true
Do you see me for the woman I am?
Do you see me for who I am?

By: Jana Adams

THANK YOU LORD

THANK YOU LORD


Just when there seemed to be no hope
You showed me once again how to cope
Once again
You came in
You shinned your light
And showed me how to fight
Through many times of feeling alone
Through many times I’ve felt I have no home
Through many times of happiness and joy
Through many times I’ve felt I want to deploy
Through many times I’ve felt I wanted to end my life
Just so I would no longer have to endure the strife
You’ve showed yourself true
You always came through
You’ve showed me that there is always one I can count on
You’ve showed me that you are here and not gone
With all the pain and sorrow I’ve felt
In the end, on my knees I have knelt
I’ve begged of you, to end this pain
I’ve begged of you to dry up this falling rain
When I’ve felt I can’t go on
You’ve been there present, to feed your faun
Nourishing and feeding your delicate creature
Filling with grace and mercy, as to nurture
I thank you Lord for what you have done
For making me feel as though, in this life, I have won
For showing me my life has only just begun
For helping me to realize, I am not alone
For the constant reminder that before me awaits a blessed home
Thank you Lord for bringing me through
Everything I couldn’t, if I didn’t have you
Thank you for loving
Thank you for caring
Thank you for your open arms
Thank you for protecting me from all harms
Thank you Lord for helping me to press on
Thank you Lord for ever showing me you are here, yet not gone
In this life I have truly struggled
And without you, my life would have been smuggled
Through all the sins
You still came in
Through all the sorrow and pain that dwells
You gave me a heart that with love still swells
I thank you Lord for opening up the doors to your kingdom
I thank you Lord for giving me wisdom
I thank you Lord for giving me discernment
I thank you Lord for your gift, a wonderful present
I thank you Lord for being there
Through all the pain and trials in my life
I thank you Lord for showing me that you do care
I thank you Lord for saving my life.

By: Jana Adams
December 5, 2006

I SEE A GIRL

HERE IS ONE OF THE POEMS FROM MY BOOK "UNKNOWN LOVE"

I SEE A GIRL

I see a girl who is afraid of what she has become
A girl who feels, in this life, she has not won
I see a girl starving for attention
A girl reflecting desperation
Reaching to find love
Covering her body with a glove
I see a girl hiding behind a newfound mask
A girl feeling overwhelmed in every task
I see a girl who questions, will me, he save
A girl who is overcome by the crashing wave
I see a girl who needs to be rescued
From the life she has turned to, instead of the one she has valued
A girl who, to others, she has portrayed
The person she thought she left behind
I see a girl who, within herself, she has betrayed
The power, love and wealth that was given her, along with all man kind
I see a girl who is longing to be loved
A girl who is longing to be filled
I see a girl who reaches out
A girl who has some doubt
With the walk she finds herself on in this life
I see a girl who feels pain…who feels strife
I see a girl who searches to find what she must seek
A girl who finds herself getting weak
I see a girl who has strayed
A girl who, by the enemy, has been played
I see a girl who once was me
A girl who I no longer wish to be
I see a girl who I was in the past
A girl who will no longer last
I see a girl and that girl is me
Yet I long for the girl I strive to be
I see a girl that was sent from above
I see a girl that God does love.

By: Jana Loser (Adams)…May 17, 2004

God given Strength

hello everyone, I wanted to let you know a little more about me, my life and the road that I have been on for the past couple of years. As I said (in about section) I am a mother and a wife. I am a writer and an author. I am also a student. I have spent the last two years dealing with the most difficult road I have been faced with in my entire life. You know, when you are a child, you always feel that everything you are going through is so hard and then as you get older you are faced with a new problem, or situation and then you say to yourself "this is definitely the hardest thing I have been through".

Well I come to say that I truly have been face with the most difficult road in my life over the past two years. Yet, despite everything (with the encouragement of my husband and family) I published my first book.

Almost two years ago, when I was 6 1/2 mo. pregnant I began to have problems with my health. I ended up having 2 surgeries within 4 days. It was hard to go in for the first surgery. I was so scared for my baby and me, but my husband (who is very supportive) pointed me in the right direction and lifted my faith. God did indeed take care of me and my baby during the surgery however, it was still such an emotional time for me and my family. After the first surgery, 4 days later I ended up having to have another surgery...talk about more emotional stress. Not just for me, but for my family. My children ( bless their hearts) were so concerned and crying their hearts out because they were worried and did not want me in the hospital. It was so hard for me to keep it together and not break down in front of them, yet I did. As soon as they left, I cried and prayed to God. He yet again, kept me and my baby safe during surgery, but that is not where my difficult road ended.

Over the past two years, I have had to continue this rough path of surgery after surgery. Watching my family go through just as much emotional pain as myself. This has been such an emotional roller coaster for us. I have continually had to go in for surgery after surgery because my body has been resistant to heal. Yet, despite how much I felt I could not go on with the pain anymore or go through it anymore...I always felt that there is no way I could muster up the strength to go through it again...God was there and continues to be there, giving me the much needed strength I need to get through it each and every time.

So I guess what I am trying to say is...When you are faced with a difficult road...Look to God and he will give you the strength you need to walk on and pass through your difficult road. I am not yet done with my difficult road and I have to say it HAS been a journey, but I know that God will continue to give me the strength to continue on.

Jana signing off

MY Introduction to my Book

I WANTED TO TAKE THE TIME RIGHT NOW TO POST THE INTRODUCTION TO MY BOOK "Unknown Love" THAT I PUBLISHED...

We all wonder, at some point in time, what it truly means to love and be loved. This book was created in love, about love and for love. It was created so that you may join me in my journey to find this unknown love. It is a story, a journal of my life from child to womanhood. As a young girl, on the brinks of many new emotions I had yet to explore, I began my journey. As I experienced new feelings and emotions, I wrote about them. I wrote of life, love and what I thought love to be. At the age of 14, I wrote my first poem. As I grew with each new experience in life, my poetry grew with me. In this book you will see my perceptions of what love was through the eyes of a young girl, a young woman, and through the eyes of a saved woman. My search for love took me through many triumphs and tribulations. I thought, on different occasions that I had finally found what many of us so desire. I thought I had found my true love. Many times I was wrong, yet I still searched to find this love so I could fill this strong void I felt in my heart. It’s funny, looking back on my life, I see now that the greatest love had been there all along. There were times when I felt there wasn’t any hope and times when I felt like giving up, but God was always there to bring me through. He was present in every aspect of my life but as a young girl who had fallen away from him and even a young woman, I didn’t realize it at the time.
Through each of my life’s experiences of love, pain and confusion I continued to write them down. There were many times throughout my life when God spoke to me through my poetry. He was showing me that he was there to love me, to comfort me and bring me happiness. He was reaching out to show me that he was there to give me a love much greater than what I could possibly find here on earth. God continued to reach out to me until one day I reached back. Through his ever- present love, he brought me back to him. He showered me with his love, as he did many times before. This time was different though, for my mind and heart were opened which allowed me to feel and experience his love to the fullest. The void I had been trying to fill all of these years was finally gone. God filled it with the most powerful love of all, His.
I hope in reading this it will give you hope and inspiration. I hope it will show you that you are not alone in your life’s journey. I pray you will see that no matter what you may be going through or have gone through in your journey, God is there. He is waiting and always reaching out to give you the greatest love of all. Be patient, for just as God has chosen for someone on earth to love you, he has also chosen the perfect time to bring that person to you. I pray that you seek and find God’s love first, for when you do your heart will be complete, as mine was when I found him once again.