OK, so to day was Thanksgiving. Most of us cook (as I usually do) and most of us go to families houses for the long awaited yummy dinner...I decided to go to my families this year...was this a good thing? or was it a bad thing? I guess I already knew the answer to that question before I went down there...
In my family there are two kinds of people...the kind who care (the outcasts) and the kind who don't give a s**t (the "in" crowd). take a guess at which category I fall into when it comes to my family...well you got it! I am the one who cares...more formally know as "the outcast". It is sad really to think that even a family can have "clicks" and then to see that your family has one. Well in my case...my family has a click...my parents and my brother and sister...and then there is me. Now I am not weirdo or freak or anything like that, I just don't agree with a lot that they themselves agree upon...and every time my family gets together, there is always a blow-out, no matter the topic or situation...there is always a blow-out!
Today was no exception to that rule . it all started so fast to where I really don't know where to start...so let's start with the "simple" story from today and then go into the other one...Here is the first situation...My brother "fixed" my son's roof in his room a month ago and now it is leaking again, so (given the fact that I have been trying to get him down here to fix it the right way for the past 3 weeks) I brought that up to him and how I needed him to come and fix it the right way...Somehow that statement turned into the fact that I am not an understanding person that my brother does not have a job right now (which is it my fault that he WON'T go get a job). And I have no heart that he is upset by this right now...blah, blah, blah...so I come back with the fact that I AM understanding and do have a heart and if I wasn't or didn't, then I would not have let my brother slide on 4 months of rent he was suppose to pay me (because I knew he was hard for $$ at the time). Is that a heartless person? No, I didn't think so... then everyone started yelling at me because I wanted him to come and fix my roof the right way, and saying "why are you bringing this up now..." So I said...well, because he has been giving me the run-around and not coming to fix my roof like he was suppose to in the first place" so then I was told that if I did not like it then maybe I shouldn't even come...WOW! what a family...huh!
and finally the other situation, probably the most ridiculous of both of them... My brother-in-law started YELLING and CURSING at me for the simple fact that one of my kids said that there is not a Santa Clause...I mean come on "adults" let's get real...kids are kids and they are going to say what they are going to say...Don't come to me yelling like a 5 yr. old because of what one of my children said...I don't know like I said ridiculous...but hey?! what are you going to do...I just let them have their little fits and go about my business...
JL signing off
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
OBSESSION
hello all,
Jana here again. i wanted to write today and was not sure of what i was going to write about until now. you know i have always remained faithful to my husband, even through our hard times. We went through a time where we were dealing with a lot of difficult things in our lives and instead of him talking to me about things, he took things in his own hands and started talking to another woman. I didn't find this out until after we were married and of course he ended things when i told him either he has her as a "friend" or he has me. Through time I could not let this go, because I NEVER expected this kind of behavior out of him. We had known each other for 7 years and were best friends. We got each other through a lot in life and we were so much alike...we still are today (aside from the cheating part). this is why i never expected this out of him.
I could not let things go. I became obsessed with what exactly went on between them. I started asking questions and got pieces...first it was "innocent" information like that he just talked to her and then when i pushed the issue more, I found out more little details. Through the past two years I have become more and more obsessed with this situation and it is so hard for me to let go because each time i bring it up (like every couple months or so) I find out more information...he always says that there is no more information each time, but then I put everything together and then I end up bringing it up again and then I find out something else...
i feel like i am losing my mind here. For each time i find out something new, it hurts me but yet then again i become more obsessed with the situation and want to know more. I am still to this day obsessed with this, and want to know everything and he says still that there is no more information. Am I crazy for being so obsessed, and how does one NOT become, or overcome obsession?
any answers would be appreciated because I feel like I am losing my mind here with this obsession...I mean I want to go so far as to find this other woman and get her side of the story, but can't find her. Anyway, enough venting today. talk later.
JL
Jana here again. i wanted to write today and was not sure of what i was going to write about until now. you know i have always remained faithful to my husband, even through our hard times. We went through a time where we were dealing with a lot of difficult things in our lives and instead of him talking to me about things, he took things in his own hands and started talking to another woman. I didn't find this out until after we were married and of course he ended things when i told him either he has her as a "friend" or he has me. Through time I could not let this go, because I NEVER expected this kind of behavior out of him. We had known each other for 7 years and were best friends. We got each other through a lot in life and we were so much alike...we still are today (aside from the cheating part). this is why i never expected this out of him.
I could not let things go. I became obsessed with what exactly went on between them. I started asking questions and got pieces...first it was "innocent" information like that he just talked to her and then when i pushed the issue more, I found out more little details. Through the past two years I have become more and more obsessed with this situation and it is so hard for me to let go because each time i bring it up (like every couple months or so) I find out more information...he always says that there is no more information each time, but then I put everything together and then I end up bringing it up again and then I find out something else...
i feel like i am losing my mind here. For each time i find out something new, it hurts me but yet then again i become more obsessed with the situation and want to know more. I am still to this day obsessed with this, and want to know everything and he says still that there is no more information. Am I crazy for being so obsessed, and how does one NOT become, or overcome obsession?
any answers would be appreciated because I feel like I am losing my mind here with this obsession...I mean I want to go so far as to find this other woman and get her side of the story, but can't find her. Anyway, enough venting today. talk later.
JL
Saturday, November 17, 2007
A MAN'S BEST FRIEND
MAN’S BEST FRIEND
To see him lying there so sweet and innocent
His big brown eyes looking up at me
There’s a sparkle, a gleam
Almost like a dream
So kismet
Man’s best friend
Woman’s worst enemy
Who knew, this, he could be
So sweet,
So kind
Yet so discrete,
He sneaks behind
Under a tree he lay so gently
Who knew he could be so slimy
Quiet and laid back, he seemed so sweet
Who knew, my heart, he hungered to eat
Who knew he was plotting against my heart
As to save it for the platter he rolls upon a cart
So juicy, so pure
So full of love, yet unsure
He leaped from his spot
To love me?...Oh! NOT
He tossed me here and there
He threw me everywhere
His love and kindness, he was suppose to share
Yet I did not have the long beautiful brown hair
He tucked me under his bed
Put me out of his head
Then went on his way
To claim yet another, on this very day.
By: Jana Adams
October 2006
To see him lying there so sweet and innocent
His big brown eyes looking up at me
There’s a sparkle, a gleam
Almost like a dream
So kismet
Man’s best friend
Woman’s worst enemy
Who knew, this, he could be
So sweet,
So kind
Yet so discrete,
He sneaks behind
Under a tree he lay so gently
Who knew he could be so slimy
Quiet and laid back, he seemed so sweet
Who knew, my heart, he hungered to eat
Who knew he was plotting against my heart
As to save it for the platter he rolls upon a cart
So juicy, so pure
So full of love, yet unsure
He leaped from his spot
To love me?...Oh! NOT
He tossed me here and there
He threw me everywhere
His love and kindness, he was suppose to share
Yet I did not have the long beautiful brown hair
He tucked me under his bed
Put me out of his head
Then went on his way
To claim yet another, on this very day.
By: Jana Adams
October 2006
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
MY LIFE MY LOVES
MY LIFE MY LOVES
How do I describe the most joyous days of my life?
The days when each of you came into me life
First, I start with you, my oldest daughter
Who brings light to the room with your most simple laughter
Who reaches out to help those in need
No second thoughts, and without greed
And next I come to you
The one I received in oh thousand on two
With your daring nature
Willing to take on all presented to you
A born leader and not a follower
One of whom to God many will follow her
And next my son
Who was guided to me through the rays of the sun
With the calming voice
That will lead many to the right choice
Who praises God with his hands in the air
In thanks of what God has given him here
And last bus not least, my youngest baby
Who over came all that was placed in front of you and me
Whose destination was planned through the kindest of grace
With the strong personality that will overcome each and every race
Who brings joy to all who look upon her face
All of you are miracles to me
Came into the world for all to see
All with a specific purpose
Designed by God with no mistake
To make a difference
In this world that He did make
My loves, my life
My children, full of life
I am blessed to have each and every one of you
In my life that God placed, so perfect only he knew.
I love you all with all my heart
And through time I will always be there to the end as from the start.
By: Jana Adams…July, 2007
How do I describe the most joyous days of my life?
The days when each of you came into me life
First, I start with you, my oldest daughter
Who brings light to the room with your most simple laughter
Who reaches out to help those in need
No second thoughts, and without greed
And next I come to you
The one I received in oh thousand on two
With your daring nature
Willing to take on all presented to you
A born leader and not a follower
One of whom to God many will follow her
And next my son
Who was guided to me through the rays of the sun
With the calming voice
That will lead many to the right choice
Who praises God with his hands in the air
In thanks of what God has given him here
And last bus not least, my youngest baby
Who over came all that was placed in front of you and me
Whose destination was planned through the kindest of grace
With the strong personality that will overcome each and every race
Who brings joy to all who look upon her face
All of you are miracles to me
Came into the world for all to see
All with a specific purpose
Designed by God with no mistake
To make a difference
In this world that He did make
My loves, my life
My children, full of life
I am blessed to have each and every one of you
In my life that God placed, so perfect only he knew.
I love you all with all my heart
And through time I will always be there to the end as from the start.
By: Jana Adams…July, 2007
Friday, November 9, 2007
AN ANSWER TO PAIN...
AN ANSWER TO…
HOW DO YOUDEAL WITH PAIN
I have told you in my word
That you hold the power of the shield and sword
My child, you are not to deal with pain
Even through the thunderstorms with the cold drawn rain
You are to cast your cares upon me
Open up and allow me to see
Show me what is bottled up inside
Your fears, no longer will you have to hide
My child, of me, you can expect it all
For my child I will not let you fall
I will never fail you
Yet I will always save you
I am the one who has come to sanctify you
I have brought you the truth
I have brought you the light
I am the one that, for you, will put up the fight
How do you deal with pain you ask?
This for me is no task
It is not your job to deal with pain
It is not your job to worry yourself
Just call my name
And I will put your pain up on a shelf
I have called you to love
I have called you to praise
I have promised you, that with me, you will have no pain
So call my name
And everyday I will do the same.
By: Jana Adams….October 22, 2006
HOW DO YOUDEAL WITH PAIN
I have told you in my word
That you hold the power of the shield and sword
My child, you are not to deal with pain
Even through the thunderstorms with the cold drawn rain
You are to cast your cares upon me
Open up and allow me to see
Show me what is bottled up inside
Your fears, no longer will you have to hide
My child, of me, you can expect it all
For my child I will not let you fall
I will never fail you
Yet I will always save you
I am the one who has come to sanctify you
I have brought you the truth
I have brought you the light
I am the one that, for you, will put up the fight
How do you deal with pain you ask?
This for me is no task
It is not your job to deal with pain
It is not your job to worry yourself
Just call my name
And I will put your pain up on a shelf
I have called you to love
I have called you to praise
I have promised you, that with me, you will have no pain
So call my name
And everyday I will do the same.
By: Jana Adams….October 22, 2006
Thursday, November 8, 2007
ABOUT MY LITTLE ONE
Hi,
I just wanted to stop in and let you all know what a crazy life it is having a little one around the house...I have 4 beautiful children and have enjoyed watching my older three grow up and now have the opportunity again with my baby. There is something different with her though. I never had the opportunity to fully watch my older children grow up because I was a working mother. Now i am a stay at home mother and the wonders that I see with my baby are amazing.
My little miracle baby is such an amazing girl. She survived two surgeries that I had to have when I was pregnant with her and now she is a handful. I watch her grow each day and each day that goes by she cracks me up that much more. When she was born we already had a Lab and so she was growing up with a sweet and kind dog who is ALWAYS gentle around her. Almost a year ago, I got two beagle puppies. she just turned one and so having two doggies her size was just what the doctor ordered.:)
Every day my baby amazes me at the things that she does...for instance, she is a little delayed in her physical and speech, but she is very intelligent and funny. she makes up for her lack of speech with everything else she does and how smart she is. Everyday she watched my puppies grow and with each move that they make she makes the same move. It is so funny to see her act like my puppies. When I am trying to train them...there she is trying to train with them, and when they play...there she is trying to play with them and like them...like I said...TOO Funny:)
Just thought I would share with you all how funny my baby is and how she ALWAYS tries to act just like her baby size doggies.
signing off for now
J
I just wanted to stop in and let you all know what a crazy life it is having a little one around the house...I have 4 beautiful children and have enjoyed watching my older three grow up and now have the opportunity again with my baby. There is something different with her though. I never had the opportunity to fully watch my older children grow up because I was a working mother. Now i am a stay at home mother and the wonders that I see with my baby are amazing.
My little miracle baby is such an amazing girl. She survived two surgeries that I had to have when I was pregnant with her and now she is a handful. I watch her grow each day and each day that goes by she cracks me up that much more. When she was born we already had a Lab and so she was growing up with a sweet and kind dog who is ALWAYS gentle around her. Almost a year ago, I got two beagle puppies. she just turned one and so having two doggies her size was just what the doctor ordered.:)
Every day my baby amazes me at the things that she does...for instance, she is a little delayed in her physical and speech, but she is very intelligent and funny. she makes up for her lack of speech with everything else she does and how smart she is. Everyday she watched my puppies grow and with each move that they make she makes the same move. It is so funny to see her act like my puppies. When I am trying to train them...there she is trying to train with them, and when they play...there she is trying to play with them and like them...like I said...TOO Funny:)
Just thought I would share with you all how funny my baby is and how she ALWAYS tries to act just like her baby size doggies.
signing off for now
J
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Difficult pregnancy/ great Therapy
Hello all,
I wanted to write you and let you all know about the assistance that my baby is getting. As some of you may know...I put a post in here with a brief description of what I went through when I was pregnant with my baby and the road that I have been on ever since (with all my surgeries).
When I was pregnant, I started having a lot of problems and thus I ended up in the hospital for two weeks. When I first was admitted into the hospital, they did not know what was causing me such pain...two days later the doctor concluded that I needed to have my gallbladder taken out. This was when I was 6 1/2 months pregnant. The doctor said that this would "fix' my problems and the pain that I was having...Well, It did not. 4 days after that surgery, I ended up having to have another surgery where they had to make a vertical incision and move around my baby to fix the problems that I was having.
After these surgeries, I went into premature labor and thus, that is why I had to stay in the hospital for so long. The emotional stress and pain along with the physical pain of the two surgeries and premature labor was very difficult for me...I was on a lot of medication at the time and after the second surgery, It was discovered that I had a major infection... I was put on complete bed rest after I was released from the hospital...
My baby was very strong, and she made it almost full term. She was born a month early and healthy...which I would not have asked for anything more. However, ever since she was born she has had a lot of developmental delays. She is very far behind what she should be doing at her age, and has always been ever since she was born.
I recently found out about a program that helps with developmental delayed children...They come out to your home and work with your child on development, speach therapy and fine motor skills...I LOVE this program! Today my baby had her first visit, and it went well. I was informed on a lot of the stuff that they will be doing to help her to get "on track" with her age level. I know that sometimes parents are afraid to acknowledge that their child may have problems with development and don't want or are afraid to admit that help is needed...I was like this too. I told myself that she was ok and just developing slowly and would catch up...but when i had her evaluation, I found out that she is VERY far behind...
I am happy now that I found this program to help her to grow as a baby and get "on track" with her age group. The therapy that she will be getting is so great that I know in no time that she will be just fine.
Just wanted to let you all know about the therapy and the kinds of programs that the government has out there for children...along with other programs.
thanks for listening...Jana
I wanted to write you and let you all know about the assistance that my baby is getting. As some of you may know...I put a post in here with a brief description of what I went through when I was pregnant with my baby and the road that I have been on ever since (with all my surgeries).
When I was pregnant, I started having a lot of problems and thus I ended up in the hospital for two weeks. When I first was admitted into the hospital, they did not know what was causing me such pain...two days later the doctor concluded that I needed to have my gallbladder taken out. This was when I was 6 1/2 months pregnant. The doctor said that this would "fix' my problems and the pain that I was having...Well, It did not. 4 days after that surgery, I ended up having to have another surgery where they had to make a vertical incision and move around my baby to fix the problems that I was having.
After these surgeries, I went into premature labor and thus, that is why I had to stay in the hospital for so long. The emotional stress and pain along with the physical pain of the two surgeries and premature labor was very difficult for me...I was on a lot of medication at the time and after the second surgery, It was discovered that I had a major infection... I was put on complete bed rest after I was released from the hospital...
My baby was very strong, and she made it almost full term. She was born a month early and healthy...which I would not have asked for anything more. However, ever since she was born she has had a lot of developmental delays. She is very far behind what she should be doing at her age, and has always been ever since she was born.
I recently found out about a program that helps with developmental delayed children...They come out to your home and work with your child on development, speach therapy and fine motor skills...I LOVE this program! Today my baby had her first visit, and it went well. I was informed on a lot of the stuff that they will be doing to help her to get "on track" with her age level. I know that sometimes parents are afraid to acknowledge that their child may have problems with development and don't want or are afraid to admit that help is needed...I was like this too. I told myself that she was ok and just developing slowly and would catch up...but when i had her evaluation, I found out that she is VERY far behind...
I am happy now that I found this program to help her to grow as a baby and get "on track" with her age group. The therapy that she will be getting is so great that I know in no time that she will be just fine.
Just wanted to let you all know about the therapy and the kinds of programs that the government has out there for children...along with other programs.
thanks for listening...Jana
Monday, November 5, 2007
WHERE TO FIND MY BOOK
I WANTED TO INFORM YOU ON WHERE YOU CAN FIND MY BOOK "UNKNOWN LOVE". AS MANY OF YOU MAY KNOW, ALL OF THE POEM THAT ARE POSTED IN HERE ARE FROM MY BOOK. I WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW WHAT KIND OF WORK IS IN MY BOOK. SO NOW I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW WHERE TO GET MY BOOK. YOU CAN FIND MY BOOK AT:
publishamerica.com
amazon.com
barnesandnoble.com
borders.com
YOU WILL FIND THE LINKS TO THESE SITES IN "MY FAVORITES" SECTION
I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY MY WORK AND MY BOOK
HAVE A BLESSED DAY
JANA
publishamerica.com
amazon.com
barnesandnoble.com
borders.com
YOU WILL FIND THE LINKS TO THESE SITES IN "MY FAVORITES" SECTION
I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY MY WORK AND MY BOOK
HAVE A BLESSED DAY
JANA
SHATTERED PIECES
Like a king taking over a pawn
My heart has been trampled on
Broken, shattered and ripped to pieces
Tossed, whipped and thrown with no miss
To find the pieces of my heart
Where to begin, where to start?
Before me I see a field of green
Filled with a mirror of reflections the eye has not seen
With each little step that I so gently take
I keep in mind the mended heart that I must make
To gather the pieces that I once knew
I keep in mind the love that I have for you
Hidden and tucked away
Yet surface again, it will do one day
So with each new step I take a chance
I creep up closer to get a better glance
And as the shattered pieces float my way
I have hope that things will be better with each new day
While tiptoeing by as to not cause new damage
I feel it tearing down, this wall that was built as a collage
This heart that was shattered, I know I can salvage
So I sift through the blades of grass as if I were a savage
Yet like a move in a game
Each blade is different and not the same
And like this mirror filled field
My heart has caution and struggles to yield
My life is a pawn, each move is strategic
I know our love, to some, may seem pathetic
Yet I am not ready to store it in the attic
So as my search for these pieces goes on
Of what I need
I know is not greed
For I know our love is still there, and not gone
So with each new step, I’ll search more and more
For my heart that was ripped to pieces
My heart that was tore
In my heart I truly believe this
That one day, in the grass, I will see those reflections no more
My heart no longer will be sore
One day, in my hand, I’ll hold the pieces of my heart
One day it will truly be our new start.
My heart has been trampled on
Broken, shattered and ripped to pieces
Tossed, whipped and thrown with no miss
To find the pieces of my heart
Where to begin, where to start?
Before me I see a field of green
Filled with a mirror of reflections the eye has not seen
With each little step that I so gently take
I keep in mind the mended heart that I must make
To gather the pieces that I once knew
I keep in mind the love that I have for you
Hidden and tucked away
Yet surface again, it will do one day
So with each new step I take a chance
I creep up closer to get a better glance
And as the shattered pieces float my way
I have hope that things will be better with each new day
While tiptoeing by as to not cause new damage
I feel it tearing down, this wall that was built as a collage
This heart that was shattered, I know I can salvage
So I sift through the blades of grass as if I were a savage
Yet like a move in a game
Each blade is different and not the same
And like this mirror filled field
My heart has caution and struggles to yield
My life is a pawn, each move is strategic
I know our love, to some, may seem pathetic
Yet I am not ready to store it in the attic
So as my search for these pieces goes on
Of what I need
I know is not greed
For I know our love is still there, and not gone
So with each new step, I’ll search more and more
For my heart that was ripped to pieces
My heart that was tore
In my heart I truly believe this
That one day, in the grass, I will see those reflections no more
My heart no longer will be sore
One day, in my hand, I’ll hold the pieces of my heart
One day it will truly be our new start.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
what Do I want?
I want the vibration that overtakes my body
Like what I feel any time you touch or even just look at me
That is what I want.
I want to feel this all day of every day.
I want to help you to explore this overpowering sensation
With every stoke and every motion.
I want to give you a feeling so undeniable
A feeling almost indescribable
I want to give you a feeling that moves from the soles of your feet
Then gradually ascends to the top of your head…
This, a feeling that just can’t be beat.
This intense journey begins with the slightest touch to the small of your back
Gliding along the curves of your body
Stroking every muscle with every part of me
I will kiss you in the crook of your neck
Then give your ear a little peck
In turning you over, I will shower your body with a mountain of kisses
I will work my way down the center of your chest
All the while, you’ll be pondering the rest
I’ll unbutton your pants with only my teeth
Then tease and caress you with all that is beneath
With the circling motion of my tongue along your member
I’ll give you an erotica ting numbness that will consume your every movement
Then with the sliding of my lips placed so delicately upon you
I’ll leave not one inch feeling any lack
And not to worry, there won’t be any slack
Exploring pleasures untold
We’ll work together and have an unbearable reaction explode
Waiting in anticipation for this moment will only make it that much stronger
For we know that one day we will have to wait no longer.
Like what I feel any time you touch or even just look at me
That is what I want.
I want to feel this all day of every day.
I want to help you to explore this overpowering sensation
With every stoke and every motion.
I want to give you a feeling so undeniable
A feeling almost indescribable
I want to give you a feeling that moves from the soles of your feet
Then gradually ascends to the top of your head…
This, a feeling that just can’t be beat.
This intense journey begins with the slightest touch to the small of your back
Gliding along the curves of your body
Stroking every muscle with every part of me
I will kiss you in the crook of your neck
Then give your ear a little peck
In turning you over, I will shower your body with a mountain of kisses
I will work my way down the center of your chest
All the while, you’ll be pondering the rest
I’ll unbutton your pants with only my teeth
Then tease and caress you with all that is beneath
With the circling motion of my tongue along your member
I’ll give you an erotica ting numbness that will consume your every movement
Then with the sliding of my lips placed so delicately upon you
I’ll leave not one inch feeling any lack
And not to worry, there won’t be any slack
Exploring pleasures untold
We’ll work together and have an unbearable reaction explode
Waiting in anticipation for this moment will only make it that much stronger
For we know that one day we will have to wait no longer.
STAYING TRUE
People seem to amaze me everyday. There are people who are honest, kind, loving, faithful and there are people who are the complete opposite. Many times, people who are genuinely true, faithful and honest in their relationships hold true to those aspects. They tell themselves that there is no way that they would ever be anything different than being faithful, honest and trustworthy. And there are the types of people who just don't care how they are or behave in a relationship...and the types that even though they say that they are going to remain faithful in their relationship...get faced with a situation that they seem to be harmless, and then they get caught up in lies and deceit, before they realize what they are doing or have done...
In any given situation...in any relationship...no matter what you may feel about your significant other and the commitment you have towards them, you never truly know how you will act until you are faced head on with a situation that seems harmless, and then becomes complicated. The complication does not come out right away...it takes time. You may be talking to a college at work (as just friends) or a close friend of whom you appreciate their companionship and in your mind it is harmless. You convince yourself that there is no harm and your significant other would have no problem with you having conversations with this other person...after all you are just friends...right?
This is the type of situation that will (in most cases) cause the most of faithful, honest and trustworthy of people to their end. In a situation such as this, a person is blind to the fact that the other person (who is just a friend)may indeed have hidden motives behind the friendship. Then, before the honest, faithful person knows it...they are in a web that they seem to be stuck and can't break free from. They have been sucked in by the lure of this friend, who has slowly placed subtle hints on the relationship going further than just friends with their sly and sneaky comments that end up building the self-esteem of the other party in the friendship. Before you know it...the faithful person has fallen into this trap and begins to make comments back to the other party and then the relationship progress until the "faithful" person, becomes "unfaithful" due to the this lure and the desire to see what the other person has to offer.
My point is, that even though some of us say to ourselves "I would never do that...I would never cheat on my partner, nor would I place myself in a situation to do so...I will always remain faithful, for I am in love...." etc. One will never truly know if that will most definitely be the outcome of their life, until they are face with a situation that places them at a crossroad...and with the decision to take the "right" path of honesty, faithfulness, and staying true to their relationship.
In any given situation...in any relationship...no matter what you may feel about your significant other and the commitment you have towards them, you never truly know how you will act until you are faced head on with a situation that seems harmless, and then becomes complicated. The complication does not come out right away...it takes time. You may be talking to a college at work (as just friends) or a close friend of whom you appreciate their companionship and in your mind it is harmless. You convince yourself that there is no harm and your significant other would have no problem with you having conversations with this other person...after all you are just friends...right?
This is the type of situation that will (in most cases) cause the most of faithful, honest and trustworthy of people to their end. In a situation such as this, a person is blind to the fact that the other person (who is just a friend)may indeed have hidden motives behind the friendship. Then, before the honest, faithful person knows it...they are in a web that they seem to be stuck and can't break free from. They have been sucked in by the lure of this friend, who has slowly placed subtle hints on the relationship going further than just friends with their sly and sneaky comments that end up building the self-esteem of the other party in the friendship. Before you know it...the faithful person has fallen into this trap and begins to make comments back to the other party and then the relationship progress until the "faithful" person, becomes "unfaithful" due to the this lure and the desire to see what the other person has to offer.
My point is, that even though some of us say to ourselves "I would never do that...I would never cheat on my partner, nor would I place myself in a situation to do so...I will always remain faithful, for I am in love...." etc. One will never truly know if that will most definitely be the outcome of their life, until they are face with a situation that places them at a crossroad...and with the decision to take the "right" path of honesty, faithfulness, and staying true to their relationship.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
What Do You See?
WHAT DO YOU SEE
Null and void I walk around
An empty shield
Hesitant to yield
I try so hard to listen for the sound
Yet all I hear is the cracking of the ground
It’s hard to show emotion
It’s hard to show devotion
I know not how to show it anymore
For through the years, my heart has grown sore
It’s so hard to release my emotions and let you in
For it goes much deeper into a life of sin
It goes much deeper than what is felt at this moment
It goes much deeper, into a heart that has been, for so long dormant
Many days I feel like breaking
I feel the cracks edging
Afraid of the day, that surface, the cracks they will
In fear of that day, I get a chill
Broken thoughts of an innocent child
Broken thoughts of that innocence defiled
Trust of loved ones, was trust in sin
And now it’s so hard to let the downpour of trust rush in
You say you see an angle
Yet I am no angle
If you only knew of the things that I have done
If you only knew what was present in this life that had begun
You say you see a rock
Yet what lay before you is a being in shock
Scared to let go
Scared to let show
This woman, you say you know.
You say you see before you a woman on innocence
A woman with an illuminating presence
Yet a mask covers her face
This woman of a different race
She beats to a different beat
Her body filled with much heat
Before you, stands a woman of disgrace
A woman tainted in the most unsuspecting of place
A woman abused in every way
A woman who struggles to start fresh with each day
You see before you, a woman who is strong
Yet, this is a woman who feels she has done everything wrong
With nothing but pain
With nothing but despair
Do you see a woman who goes by a different name?
Do you see a woman who has discerning care?
This woman that stands before you is trapped in a cage
This woman is a black-panther ready to pounce with much rage
Ready to divulge what is seen
Ready to make what is past, what is present, a vague dream
For every time this panther is set free
It is hard to conceive in the mind what is seen
You see a rock
Yet what lies in-front of you is a round block
Inside is a child that caresses each side
A child is trapped inside.
A child of confusion
A child full of delusion
A child born into a panther
A child who would rather
Have lived a life of peace
A life with no physical grief
A child who was raped of her innocence
A child longing for God’s presence
A child who lived to tell the tale of her murder
A child who you now call a survivor
You see a rock, you see an angle
Yet what you don’t see is the heart that so easily did mangle
Two questions I ask of you
Two answers, I only hope are true
Do you see me for the woman I am?
Do you see me for who I am?
By: Jana Adams
Null and void I walk around
An empty shield
Hesitant to yield
I try so hard to listen for the sound
Yet all I hear is the cracking of the ground
It’s hard to show emotion
It’s hard to show devotion
I know not how to show it anymore
For through the years, my heart has grown sore
It’s so hard to release my emotions and let you in
For it goes much deeper into a life of sin
It goes much deeper than what is felt at this moment
It goes much deeper, into a heart that has been, for so long dormant
Many days I feel like breaking
I feel the cracks edging
Afraid of the day, that surface, the cracks they will
In fear of that day, I get a chill
Broken thoughts of an innocent child
Broken thoughts of that innocence defiled
Trust of loved ones, was trust in sin
And now it’s so hard to let the downpour of trust rush in
You say you see an angle
Yet I am no angle
If you only knew of the things that I have done
If you only knew what was present in this life that had begun
You say you see a rock
Yet what lay before you is a being in shock
Scared to let go
Scared to let show
This woman, you say you know.
You say you see before you a woman on innocence
A woman with an illuminating presence
Yet a mask covers her face
This woman of a different race
She beats to a different beat
Her body filled with much heat
Before you, stands a woman of disgrace
A woman tainted in the most unsuspecting of place
A woman abused in every way
A woman who struggles to start fresh with each day
You see before you, a woman who is strong
Yet, this is a woman who feels she has done everything wrong
With nothing but pain
With nothing but despair
Do you see a woman who goes by a different name?
Do you see a woman who has discerning care?
This woman that stands before you is trapped in a cage
This woman is a black-panther ready to pounce with much rage
Ready to divulge what is seen
Ready to make what is past, what is present, a vague dream
For every time this panther is set free
It is hard to conceive in the mind what is seen
You see a rock
Yet what lies in-front of you is a round block
Inside is a child that caresses each side
A child is trapped inside.
A child of confusion
A child full of delusion
A child born into a panther
A child who would rather
Have lived a life of peace
A life with no physical grief
A child who was raped of her innocence
A child longing for God’s presence
A child who lived to tell the tale of her murder
A child who you now call a survivor
You see a rock, you see an angle
Yet what you don’t see is the heart that so easily did mangle
Two questions I ask of you
Two answers, I only hope are true
Do you see me for the woman I am?
Do you see me for who I am?
By: Jana Adams
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Thursday, November 1, 2007
THANK YOU LORD
THANK YOU LORD
Just when there seemed to be no hope
You showed me once again how to cope
Once again
You came in
You shinned your light
And showed me how to fight
Through many times of feeling alone
Through many times I’ve felt I have no home
Through many times of happiness and joy
Through many times I’ve felt I want to deploy
Through many times I’ve felt I wanted to end my life
Just so I would no longer have to endure the strife
You’ve showed yourself true
You always came through
You’ve showed me that there is always one I can count on
You’ve showed me that you are here and not gone
With all the pain and sorrow I’ve felt
In the end, on my knees I have knelt
I’ve begged of you, to end this pain
I’ve begged of you to dry up this falling rain
When I’ve felt I can’t go on
You’ve been there present, to feed your faun
Nourishing and feeding your delicate creature
Filling with grace and mercy, as to nurture
I thank you Lord for what you have done
For making me feel as though, in this life, I have won
For showing me my life has only just begun
For helping me to realize, I am not alone
For the constant reminder that before me awaits a blessed home
Thank you Lord for bringing me through
Everything I couldn’t, if I didn’t have you
Thank you for loving
Thank you for caring
Thank you for your open arms
Thank you for protecting me from all harms
Thank you Lord for helping me to press on
Thank you Lord for ever showing me you are here, yet not gone
In this life I have truly struggled
And without you, my life would have been smuggled
Through all the sins
You still came in
Through all the sorrow and pain that dwells
You gave me a heart that with love still swells
I thank you Lord for opening up the doors to your kingdom
I thank you Lord for giving me wisdom
I thank you Lord for giving me discernment
I thank you Lord for your gift, a wonderful present
I thank you Lord for being there
Through all the pain and trials in my life
I thank you Lord for showing me that you do care
I thank you Lord for saving my life.
By: Jana Adams
December 5, 2006
Just when there seemed to be no hope
You showed me once again how to cope
Once again
You came in
You shinned your light
And showed me how to fight
Through many times of feeling alone
Through many times I’ve felt I have no home
Through many times of happiness and joy
Through many times I’ve felt I want to deploy
Through many times I’ve felt I wanted to end my life
Just so I would no longer have to endure the strife
You’ve showed yourself true
You always came through
You’ve showed me that there is always one I can count on
You’ve showed me that you are here and not gone
With all the pain and sorrow I’ve felt
In the end, on my knees I have knelt
I’ve begged of you, to end this pain
I’ve begged of you to dry up this falling rain
When I’ve felt I can’t go on
You’ve been there present, to feed your faun
Nourishing and feeding your delicate creature
Filling with grace and mercy, as to nurture
I thank you Lord for what you have done
For making me feel as though, in this life, I have won
For showing me my life has only just begun
For helping me to realize, I am not alone
For the constant reminder that before me awaits a blessed home
Thank you Lord for bringing me through
Everything I couldn’t, if I didn’t have you
Thank you for loving
Thank you for caring
Thank you for your open arms
Thank you for protecting me from all harms
Thank you Lord for helping me to press on
Thank you Lord for ever showing me you are here, yet not gone
In this life I have truly struggled
And without you, my life would have been smuggled
Through all the sins
You still came in
Through all the sorrow and pain that dwells
You gave me a heart that with love still swells
I thank you Lord for opening up the doors to your kingdom
I thank you Lord for giving me wisdom
I thank you Lord for giving me discernment
I thank you Lord for your gift, a wonderful present
I thank you Lord for being there
Through all the pain and trials in my life
I thank you Lord for showing me that you do care
I thank you Lord for saving my life.
By: Jana Adams
December 5, 2006
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